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a year ago today i was thinking .... ITS COMING.... ITS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT"S GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! F*CK IMAC!!!!!!!!!!!!! naw but surriously... for all my complaining... there will be a FEW things i'll miss.... some ppl... some of the fun times... but other than that... i am so ready to move on... kRikEy... went to em's house to study for gov't... me, em, sylvana, lisa and francine... oh man... fun times! LoL!! messing w/ a whole mess of ppl online... classic... lololol... today was actually a pretty emotional day... not cuz of school but b/c of something else... after much too long i finally was able to talk to someone to clear up some of my drama.... these last few months have been difficult... and its good to have finally gotten some closure... im glad that we were finally able to actually talk... so yea... got a lil emotional... but i'm glad that we're cool now... ok.. thats all for now... *EMILY IS A SNAPPY SNATCH TIMES 10!!!* hmmm... funny how things turn out... right... u dont appreciate wut u got til its gone... haha... its like looking in a distorted mirror... i can look... but i can't touch... as much i want to pull myself back into a year again... i dont want it either... this year has been... interesting... more on that at a later point... i've learned so much... so much baggage this year... just so much to take in... i need summer to come so i can sort all of this jumbled knot out... so much raw emotion... just so much everything i can't put it into words... *sigh* it came, it was here, now its far gone.... and now im onto something new... i haven't quite got the hang of it yet... but it will come... i hope... ok... this is a totally random ramble so ima go... if this is the last time u hear from me I LOVE YOU!! . the good old days.... xPuReN3vLkPcHQxP: hahaha every time i think of u...i think of vodka in the library uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: HAHAHAHAHA uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: oh yea xPuReN3vLkPcHQxP: water bottle uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: that was good stuff uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: oh yea xPuReN3vLkPcHQxP: momo : " sumi u want some water" xPuReN3vLkPcHQxP: haha xPuReN3vLkPcHQxP: yeaaaa uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: hahahahaha uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: that was good times . so im back in slo... took the train... this weekend was fun / interesting / sad / touching / emotional and more... im feeling very ambivalent about life right now... im looking for the good... and it just seems like all these truly good ppl go thru these really bad things... and i just wish i could understand it... so im just praying... for 2 ppl in particular.... two truly beautiful and amazing ppl... i just hope everything works out... *sigh* i feel very relaxed but also slightly depressed... its like that relaxed feeling after a good nite of sleep... but still just sad... :-/ oh well... it will pass... i can't wait til summer is here... *sigh* ok well im way bummed... no mas writing... ok so last nite didn't work out like it was supposed to... oh well... so i didn't see the matrix... and i couldnt chill w/ sylvia and the boys cuz of other stuff... BUT on a better note... i did have a waaaaaay awesome conversation with the best "momma" ever! aka... mari!! qoute of the day sylvia: i hate people salvador, maureen, alex: AMEN!! haha... that was definitely the quote of yesterday... so at denny's yesterday had an interesting convo about all the drama going down in everyone's lives.. like sylvia said... its just hard to see ppl in situations that they can't get out of... or that the only way out is gonna hurt someone.... but sometimes thats just how it has to be right? in other news... im kinda in a downer mood... im not sure y... i guess i just heard a lot of sad stuff from ppl i wish i could make the world perfect for... i hate it when ideals and reality clash... its ALWAYS a bummer... *sigh* plus i'm in a very disillusioned state right now... about everything... thanks to mari for listening to me vent... ur honestly one of the best friends i have ever had... ur the best momma!! well i have to go now.. so i will continue this later . so im chillaxin at home... wahoo!!! had a VERY fun day yesterday w/ the kewlest lil sis eva!!!! aka... my sister!!! :-D yay!! so we went around...watched a movie... shopped... shopped... kidnapped lil peeeejon!!! aka... katrinaaa!!! shopped... ate.... came home... it was good times!! then at nite... went out my sister... alisha, laura and ryan... also very good times!!! yay!! today.... went to alex's house... met up w/ him and salvador... went to sylvia's house... went ALL THE WAY TO HOLLYWOOD!! from BURBANK... JUST to go to a goddamn denny's!!! good one sal... good one... alex: i'm hungry sal... sal: shut up back there alex: i'm hungry sal... sal: i said shut up!! alex: i'm hungry sal... sal: shut the fuck up!! alex: my stomach is starting to eat itself sal... sal: uhh... ok... we'll go eat after lunch... we went to the guitar center... yay!! very fun stuff... then back to alex's house to chillax some more... drove sivi-uh home... good convo!!! i LOVE our convos pigerbil!!! we definitely gotta chill this summer... i miss u... :-( so n e wayz.... went home cuz ppl are coming over... helped get ready... now they're here... tonite im going to see the matrix!!! yay!!! w/ MARI!!! :-D, SYLVIA!!! :-D. salvador and alex... we're going to shitty walk... yaaay *sarcasm* well thats all from this mofo for now . ![]() I'm exceptionally artistic! Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com. Virtues: You look for immense creativity and individuality in people, including yourself. You're not happy with anything less than brilliant, and you focus on being expressive. You value energy, liveliness, and upbeat personalities, but you're not supportive of moodiness when you yourself can be unreliably moody. Seeking activity, you like the bustle of business but need the secluded atmosphere of a studio or private corner. Aspirations: You feel the need to express your talents, whether it be through writing, drawing, singing, dancing, composing, performing, or photographing. While you strive to ever improve your work, you want to display it as soon as possible when your impatience kicks in. You want to be a prodigy but you might not have the means right at your fingertips. Trust me, do NOT move to New York to do it. Yeesh! Quirks: Conformists bother you because of their lack of individuality. You're often late or unreliable. You're showy and refuse to share the spotlight. You only tell little white lies. You worm your way into the hearts of others, but be careful; some people despise the show-offs. Factors: Surround yourself with activity and you'll always have material to work with. Involve friends and family in your projects so they don't feel like envious outsiders. Future: Show business or not, you'll settle down happily if you're among those who appreciate your natural talents and desire to perform. Don't stay in one place too long, and don't be too hasty in defining your relationships. Who are you to judge what only time will tell? . funny email i got... found it quite amusing HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. --Alan, age 10 No person really decides before they Grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. --Kirsten, age 10 WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED? Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. --Camille, age 10 No age is good to get married at. You Got to be a fool to get married. --Freddie, age 6 HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. --Derrick, age 8 WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? Both don't want any more kids. --Lori, age 8 WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. --Lynnette, age 8 On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. --Martin, age 10 WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR? I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. --Craig, age 9 WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? When they're rich. --Pam, age 7 The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. --Curt, age 7 The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. --Howard, age 8 IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out. --Theodore, age 8 It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. --Anita, age 9 HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED? There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? --Kelvin, age 8 "And the #1 Favorite is........" HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. --Ricky, age 10 . wow guys... its 10:58am.... and my day is already sucking hardcore... but wuteva.... shout out to jason!! good talk last nite... hope all goes well for u.... and yes.... i'm here to listen... so this morning at breakfast... i was called a hitler supporter by my oh-so-favorite republican friend.... his logic: i dont support the war in iraq OBVIOUSLY: i support saddam hussein OBVIOUSLY saddam and hitler are the exact same ppl OBVIOUSLY i support hitler hmmm.... anyone else see sanything OBVIOUSLY wrong w/ this logic? but hey.... u kno wut? everyone is allowed to believe wut they want... i definitely dont agree w/ him.... so its cool that he doesn't agree w/ me... even tho being called a hitler supporter didn't exactly start my day on a bright note... i'm feeling poetic today... so heres two poems for ya... one by emily dickinson the other by walt whitman.... i guess i am learning somethin in college!! yay!! ;-) poems of the day "I'm Nobody! Who are you?" -Emily Dickinson I ’M nobody! Who are you? Are you nobody, too? Then there ’s a pair of us—don’t tell! They ’d banish us, you know. How dreary to be somebody! How public, like a frog To tell your name the livelong day To an admiring bog! "I Sit and Look Out" Walt Whitman I SIT and look out upon all the sorrows of the world, and upon all oppression and shame; I hear secret convulsive sobs from young men, at anguish with themselves, remorseful after deeds done; I see, in low life, the mother misused by her children, dying, neglected, gaunt, desperate; I see the wife misused by her husband—I see the treacherous seducer of young women; I mark the ranklings of jealousy and unrequited love, attempted to be hid—I see these sights on the earth; I see the workings of battle, pestilence, tyranny—I see martyrs and prisoners; I observe a famine at sea—I observe the sailors casting lots who shall be kill’d, to preserve the lives of the rest; I observe the slights and degradations cast by arrogant persons upon laborers, the poor, and upon negroes, and the like; All these—All the meanness and agony without end, I sitting, look out upon, See, hear, and am silent. . *sigh* once again... *sigh* in other news... i dunno... no other news.... just disappointment.... but u kno wut? i greater "good" will come out of all of this... so in the grand scheme of things... this is another valuable lesson.... i thought i had learned it before... but i hadn't... so now it comes back... to reteach wut i hadn't fully learned before... (this is not aimed at anyone or at anything.... please do not think this is aimed at u... this is a personal reflection) . quote from the COOLEST BIG SISTER!!! in the entire universe.... aka ... mariaaaaaaa.... "The greatness comes not when things go always good for you. But the greatness comes when you're really tested, when you take some knocks, some disappointments, when sadness comes. Because only if you've been in the deepest valley can you ever know how magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain." -Richard M. Nixon shout out to maria... i love u big sis!!! :-D ur the best big sis i ever had!!!! . ur daily dose of sylvana the great and maureen the infamous uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: wutup BabyRoseSRG: wut up dawg uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: nasing uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: ju BabyRoseSRG: same uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: good stuff uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: too uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: much uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: work uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: !!!!!!!!!! BabyRoseSRG: lo siento pal BabyRoseSRG: i have a project i should be doin right now as well BabyRoseSRG: oh well uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: need me to leave u to it BabyRoseSRG: nope uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: good uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: cuz i wasn't gonna!!!! BabyRoseSRG: shooOOOOoooo uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: shoo BabyRoseSRG: u do anything i damn well tell u to uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: OH HEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLL NOOOOOOOOOOOOO BabyRoseSRG: ooohhhhhhhhh hheeellllll YYYYEESSSS uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: u didn't uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: oh no uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: u r CRUISING for a BRUISING uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: thas right uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: the 80's live uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: be scurred BabyRoseSRG: imma beat ure ass like u stole something BabyRoseSRG: betta watch out beeeyatch uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: oh no uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: u didn't uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: shoo BabyRoseSRG: oh BabyRoseSRG: yes BabyRoseSRG: i BabyRoseSRG: sure BabyRoseSRG: DID uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: i'll beat yo ass like u rodney king uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: thats right uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: i'll beat yo ass like im an LAPD officer and yo ass aint white uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: thats right BabyRoseSRG: ill beat yo ass like im trying to get the ugly off ure face BabyRoseSRG: but i wont succeed though uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: shoooooooooo uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: thats cuz u be lookin in a mirror uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: shoo u the type of girl thats a two bagger uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: one bag over YOUR face uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: another over who ever else is around u uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: so they won't have to be seen w/ yo ugly ass BabyRoseSRG: thats why imma slice ure right eyeball with the glass shards of the mirror after i drop it on ure head from a 25 story building uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: OMG!!! uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: DAMN!!! BabyRoseSRG: uh huh uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: u got issues uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: prolly cuz u so ugly!! uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: it might help if u cut my eyeballs BabyRoseSRG: u aint gonna have a pulse u keep it up uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: then i wont have to see ur ugly face BabyRoseSRG: no then u wont have to see people run away in horror WHENEVA they see YOU uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: OH NO uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: THATS U uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: STANK vana BabyRoseSRG: nice comeback dawg uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: that aint no coincidence uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: thanks uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: shoo theres a reason ur parents made u play soccer uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: so u could learn to run fast uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: away from the mobs of ppl uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: trying to erase ugliness BabyRoseSRG: lol BabyRoseSRG: ure such a dumbass uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: hahahahaha uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: u r too BabyRoseSRG: ho bag uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: stupah ho uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: shoo uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: thats right uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: i farted uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: its the nuuuuuts BabyRoseSRG: lolololololololololol uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: and u kno he gonna pick me uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: cuz i got one leg uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: and cuz u so damn ugly BabyRoseSRG: stupah BabyRoseSRG: ho uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: ugly uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: bitch BabyRoseSRG: why u gotta be a snatch uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: cuz i hung out w/ u too much BabyRoseSRG: true dat ************************************************************* now didn't that bring a tear to ur eye??? the amount of love in our friendship?!?! *sniff sniff* i'm gettin a lil choked up over here... oh no wait... its cuz i looked at a pic of sylvana's ugly face!!!!! ;-) . last nite was interesting.... very interesting it was my first pleasant drinking experience in quite some time... maybe it was the prayer before drinking... or the company in which i drank.... or the fact that no one wanted another bad experience... or maybe a combo of the three.... wutever it was... i was buzzed... not tipsy... and not drunk... it was good times.... had a way awesome time playing "survivor"... a boardgame which, in my opinion, should never be played sober, b/c it would be very boring.... but drinking while playing made it a lot more fun... i got a lot on my mind... after we had all sobered up.. we had interesting conversations... hell when we were drinking we had interesting conversations... shout out to SHARLENE J... my other survivor!! (THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU) <= the thank you's came late.... which is my bad... but it was only the saying of the thank you's that is late... i was definitely thankful then too... i have a long ass blog to write about all of the things i've learned this year... i'll be honest... this was not the most pleasant year of my life.... but i think i learned more in this year than in a whole chunk of the previous ones.... had major ups and downs... MAJOR!!! but (hopefully) in the end it will all be worth it... but being as the year isn't over for a good month.... :-( that blog is gonna have to be put on hold while i study for midterms and write papers... anyways... as marlene would say... if this is the last time u hear from me I LOVE YOU!!! that goes out to my SLO GANGSTAS!! as well as my immacers and other kewl ppl... i kno i dont say it much... but i DO have love for all the SLO kids... foreal... just remember that!!!!!!!!!!! k... peace out gangstas... . HAPPY (BELATED) BIRTHDAY JACLYN!!!! I LOVE YOU SOO MUCH!!! ************************ HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRACE!!! U CRAZY ASS!! :-D . HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR BBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U!!!!! so yea.... my blog is one year old today *sniff sniff*... getting so big... haha in other news... had a "wild" adventure last nite!!!!! wahoo!! ;-) oh so wild!! haha had a very TIGHT! convo with a krazy azz kracka aka TeeeeeTeeeeeeee aka Transforming Traci!!! :-D very good to hear wut ur side of dis craziness... thanks for trusting me enough to be so honest.... i appreciate it mucho.... ok thas enough from this cracka... bye gangstas... song of the day p!nk dear diary Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets Cuz you're the only one that I know who'll keep them Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets I know you'll keep them, and this is what I've done I've been a bad, bad girl for so long I don't know how to change what went wrong Daddy's little girl when he went away What did it teach me? That love leaves Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets Cuz you're the only one that I know who'll keep them Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets I know you'll keep them, and this is what I've done I've been down every road you could go I made some bad choices as you know Seems I have the whole world cradled in my hands But its just like me not to understand Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets Cuz you're the only one that I know who'll keep them Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets I've been a bad, bad girl I learned my lessons I turned myself around I've got a guardian angel tattooed on my shoulder She's been watching over me Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets Cuz you're the only one that I know who'll keep them Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets I've been a bad, bad girl Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets Cuz you're the only one that I know who'll keep them Dear, dear diary, I want to tell my secrets I've been a bad, bad girl I've been a bad, bad girl . my son keith.... uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: :-( uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: y u gotta make me cry keith ImA SLO GuY: wut ImA SLO GuY: ur wierd uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: duh!! uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: where u think u got it from?!?! ImA SLO GuY: milk? uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: omg uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: wut the uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: wut kinda milk u drinkin uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: mad cow disease milk?? ImA SLO GuY: badger milk uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: badger milk?!?!?!?!?!?! uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: omg uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: u r so fired . this song is directed to ONE specific person... and its NOT u! no more misconceptions... please Lord! i can't handle anymore... this is directed to ONE person... and u prolly kno who im talkin about... song of the day christina aguilera fighter After all you put me through You'd think I'd despise you But in the end I want to thank you Because you made me that much stronger When I, thought I knew you Thinking, that you were true I guess I, I couldn't trust Called your bluff, time is up 'Cause I've had enough You were, there by my side Always, down for the ride But your, joy ride just came down in flames 'Cause your greed sold me out of shame, mmhmm After all of the stealing and cheating You probably think that I hold resentment for you But, uh uh, oh no, you're wrong 'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through So I wanna say thank you 'Cause it makes me that much stronger Makes me work a little bit harder It makes me that much wiser So thanks for making me a fighter Made me learn a little bit faster Made my skin a little bit thicker Makes me that much smarter So thanks for making me a fighter Ohh, ohh, ohh, ohhhh, ohh-yeah ah uhhhuh Never, saw it coming All of, your backstabbing Just so, you could cash in On a good thing before I realized your game I heard, you're going around Playing the victim now But don't, even begin Feeling I'm the one to blame 'Cause you dug your own grave After all of the fights and the lies Yes you wanted to harm me but that won't work anymore Uh, no more, oh no, it's over 'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture I wouldn't know how to be this way now, and never back down So I wanna say thank you 'Cause it makes me that much stronger Makes me work a little bit harder Makes me that much wiser So thanks for making me a fighter Made me learn a little bit faster Made my skin a little bit thicker It makes me that much smarter So thanks for making me a fighter How could this man I thought I knew Turn out to be unjust so cruel Could only see the good in you Pretended not to see the truth You tried to hide your lies, disguise yourself Through living in denial But in the end you'll see YOU-WON'T-STOP-ME I am a fighter and I I ain't goin' stop There is no turning back I've had enough 'Cause it makes me that much stronger Makes me work a little bit harder Makes me that much wiser So thanks for making me a fighter Made me learn a little bit faster Made my skin a little bit thicker It makes me that much smarter So thanks for making me a fighter 'Cause it makes me that much stronger Makes me work a little bit harder Makes me that much wiser So thanks for making me a fighter Made me learn a little bit faster Made my skin a little bit thicker It makes me that much smarter So thanks for making me a fighter i dont hate this person... i DO hate how i was treated... i DO understand the circumstances under which the incident occurred.... i wish this person nothing but good things... and a learning experience.... i wanted to blame u for all thats been going wrong in my life... its so easy.... in all honesty i thought u were the cause of it all... but upon reflection... u DID hurt me... your actions DESTROYED part of my soul... BUT i am responsible for my actions... despite the HURT and PAIN i have been feeling... i am still accountable for my actions... my actions have been hurtful towards ppl that were trying to help me... i was confused and angry and i wanted to push everyone away... b/c i never want to get hurt like that again... but those who tried to help me did NOT deserve to be treated the way i treated them... these are all just words... and u dont have to believe them... b/c actions speak much louder than words... so now its gonna be about my actions... cuz ima try to be a person of "GREAT heart and RIGHT conscience"... i kno its inside of my somewhere... i just need to find it... . |