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try to stop me. i dare you. name: maureen nick names: momo, slo mo, homeslice, shweaty, krikes, fOO, sister, burnt toast, mofo, pigeon, peeeejon, fluffy, irish girl, mick, optimistic cow, mo-wobble, crunchiez, speed racer, croc hunna, qui-qui, white trash, redneck, giant, homie, trick, crazy girl nationality: IRISH BABY!!!! oh snap!! watch out now!! birfday: 4. 27. 84 where i spend my time: holdin it down in los angeles and chicago educated at: immac grad of 02, studied in mexico and chicago but i call slo my home majoring in: international studies and spanish hobbies: chillin with all the homies... if u kno me... u kno how i do cheers for: THE ONE AND ONLY... LOS ANGELES LAKERS!!! BOW DOWN TO GREATNESS!! and the loyola chicago ramblers shout outs to: all the PANDAS!! and the MUSTANGS!! the MRC, the VIP(4 eva), all the homies, the pigeons, 2 skwerd, da CKKW! the TOAST family, yo momma chip cookiez, the MCK!!! the bread box crew and the fOO tang clan!! [alisha] [amy] [angie] [belinda] [bj] [chris] [christine c] [christine n] [christine t] [coleen] [cressa] [erlynne] [francine] [gladys] [heather] [jhona] [joanna] [kat] [keith] [maddy] [maria] [marlene] [michelle] [robert] [sharlene b.] [sue] [vanessa] Blogger Blogskins DynamicDrive home may 02 june 02 july 02 august 02 september 02 october 02 november 02 december 02 january 03 february 03 march 03 april 03 may 03 june 03 july 03 august 03 september 03 october 03 november 03 december 03 january 04 february 04 march 04 april 04 may 04 june 04 july 04 august 04 september 04 october 04 november 04 december 04 january 05 february 05 march 05 april 05 may 05 june 05 july 05 august 05 september 05 october 05 november 05 designed by: dreamwalker game scripted by: Lancer game script from: syahidah time & calendar scripts from: DynamicDrive  |
song of the day travis pipe dreams i read it all every word and i still don't understand a thing what had you heard what had you heard was it love was it take another walk in the dark you'll never learn i'd pray to god if there was heaven but heaven seems so very far from here and it all boils down to the same thing just a yin and a yang or a couple of pipe dreams and it all boils down to the same old pain whether you win or you lose isn't gonna change a single thing i stood in line and a thought crossed my mind i had been dreaming but i didn't mind i signed the line and the woman looked right through me she didn't smile i'd pray to god if there was heaven but heaven seems so very far from here and it all boils down to the same old thing just a yin and a yang or a couple of pipe dreams and it all boils down to the same old pain whether you win or you lose isn't gonna change a single thing i'd pray to god if there was heaven but heaven seems so very far from here and it all boils down to the same old thing just a yin and a yang or a couple of pipe dreams and it all boils down to the same old pain whether you win or you lose isn't gonna change a single thing and it all boils down to the same old fear just a link in a chain just a puppet on a string and it all boils down to the same old pain whether you win or lose whether you win or lose whether you win or lose whether you win or lose life is like a coin... there are two sides to every story... obviously its much easier to look only at ur own side of the coin... sometimes it seems impossible to see anything but your side... the flip side hasn't been illuminated and the only thing u have to go on is assumptions and misconceptions... i am guilty of this... i say this with no shame... i am human... i am not perfect... i am allowed to make mistakes... i learn from my mistakes... it might take me longer than u to get over something or to learn from my mistakes.... but in the end... i will pick myself up, dust myself off, and try again... as much as anyone else i have been thru my share of rough times... the only lesson that is easily learned is that to be a b*tch is the best way to go thru life... sure u dont have as much fun... but u sure as hell dont get hurt as much... maybe i dont share my past with u as readily as u have with me... but that doesn't mean that i dont have one.... doesn't mean that i just appeared one day at cal poly out of thin air.... i am truly sorry for all of the hardships that u have been thru in your past... i am incredibly sorry for my actions which have in any way mirrored those of ppl in ur past.... there is no excuse, nor will i try to make one... thats an insult to u and ur intelligence.... i hold myself completely responsible for my own actions... but these actions dont come out of no where... there are reasons behind everything i do and have done.... that is my side of the coin... i honestly dont fully understand your side because we haven't really talked recently... that is your side of the coin... i would honestly like to hear your side and come to a fuller understanding of where u are coming from... i value u as a friend and as a person, but u dont have to believe that... i dont kno if u trust me or even consider me worth listening to... but i would not say this if i didn't mean it.... i do value u... and watching this relationship crumble is horribly painful.... but that is not ur fault, i am not blaming u, nor do i think that by writing this i will wash my hands of my wrongs and it will all be on your shoulders... a friendship takes two... and i am sorry that i have not been a very good friend... honestly i am sorry... u deserve better... much better.... and i am incredibly sorry for my actions... i hope we can talk and deal with this... if this is the end... i thank u for everything and for this good learning experience... thank u for letting me be ur friend... even if it was only for a short time... . u kno... its funny... how ppl can turn anything into a weapon... probably the strongest weapon is words... sure a gun can shoot u... a knife can stab u.... they can kill u... but they can't break you.... i'm watching u as i'm sure ur watching me... its like looking thru sound proof glass... i can't say anything... and even if i did u couldn't hear me... where there was once something awesome there is now an awkward silence emerged in cold misunderstanding... is this an easy cop out? me saying well i tried its ur fault... no... its not... i dont kno wut went wrong or how things seemed to have crumbled to dust before my eyes... i can honestly say that watching this has broken my heart.... i would like to think that there is remorse on ur side... but i dont kno.... not an "i dont kno" as in i dont think u care... an "i dont kno" as in i dont kno u n e more... and that thought is unbelievably saddening... friendship is such a fragile thing... a horribly fragile thing... it can bring as much happiness as it can pain... and in an instant a friendship can end... forever irreconcilable.... is this what has happened? has every semblance of friendship been destroyed? if its my fault i'll accept that... i can honestly say i dont believe i have done anything wrong.... but i am also willing to accept the fact that i am not perfect... that i DO make mistakes... that i can mess up... if this is my fault.... i will own up to it and learn from it... i hope that if it turns out to be the opposite... that i can say the same of u.... maybe u believe me... and maybe u dont... i wouldn't say this if i didnt mean it... but if trust has left... then u have every reason to not believe me... this will definitely leave its mark.... and if this is truly the end... then i thank u for all of the good times, the laughs, the awesome times that we've shared, the support when i needed it, the talks, everything, i wish u nothing but the best in all that u do... and i hope u dont regret our friendship... because i dont song of the day travis follow the light nobody really knows where they're supposed to go hiding behind a wall afraid that they'll lose it all but it's alright just follow the light and don't be afraid of the dark in the moonlight you'll dance til you fall and always be here in my heart but nobody wants to know cos nobody even cares everyone's on the make yeah and everyone's out for themselves me i'm on the longest road where everything's overload but i've got my heart and soul so don't throw me overboard cos it's alright just follow the light and don't be afraid of the dark in the moonlight you'll dance til you fall and always be here in my heart cos it's alright just follow the light and don't be afraid of the dark in the moonlight you'll dance til you fall and always be here in my heart cos it's alright alright now and you're alright yeah we're alright now i'm biting my tongue so hard i think i might bleed to death . thanks for the b day tags guys... i love u guys so much... u make the impossible seem possible... thank u guys... these trying times really show who's a Friend and whos a friend.... im blessed to have so many Friends... thank u... thanks especially to MARI! and BELINDA!! for coming up here... i am beyond blessed to have u 2 awesome ladies in my life... and of course thanks to everyone (SYLVANA!) for the calls, texts, IM's, tags and e-mails.... u guys rock!! thank u sylvana & mari for letting me vent to u guys... thank u for just listening and being true Friends... i dont kno where i would be without u guys.... song of the day good charlotte east coast anthem Walking on the streets of D.C., On the eastcoast where I live, You say what's the problem What's with this angry kid You don't like the way I walk, Or the way I talk, Or the way I swing my hands, You don't like the words I speak, or the thoughts I think And I know you'll never understand You know On the eastcoast, we ride until we die You know, Well there's a place inside my mind, Yeah a place you'll never find, There's a place inside my mind, Walk this way There's a place inside my mind, Yeah a place you'll never find, There's a place inside my mind, We'll leave today You know Wouldn't it be perfect if I could sit with you? And we would change a thing or 2, we'd change a thing or 2, We would change the way you think, we would change the way I think, We would change the way they think but we're not changin' anything You know On the eastcoast, we ride until we die You know, Well there's a place inside my mind, Yeah a place you'll never find, There's a place inside my mind, Walk this way There's a place inside my mind, Yeah a place you'll never find, There's a place inside my mind, We'll leave today You know You know On the eastcoast, we ride until we die You know, Well there's a place inside my mind, Yeah a place you'll never find, There's a place inside my mind, Walk this way There's a place inside my mind, Yeah a place you'll never find, There's a place inside my mind, We'll leave today You know . wow guys... i feel so S-P-E-C-I-A-L!! :-D omg... so yes... i was surprised my MARI!!!!!!!!!! and PEEEEEEEJON!!! last nite for my birthday... :-D u dont even kno how special i feel right now... :-D thanks u guys... u R-O-C-K!!! FOO TANG CLAN 4 LIFE!!! right PEEEJON?!?! . further proof that my friends are the best in the world Auto response from uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: It's just those rainy days Spend a lifetime tryin to wash away Until the sun come out and shines again Smile for me, smile for me ... i need some love and support right now guys... *sigh* ... i need an immac hug ... :'( CheerGIRLIE182: if you need to talk I"M HERE! CheerGIRLIE182: and here's one big one ************************************************** xoangel23xo8: BIG HUG!!! xoangel23xo8: BIG HUG xoangel23xo8: BIG HUG xoangel23xo8: BIG HUGBIG HUGBIG HUGBIG HUGBIG HUGBIG HUGBIG HUG xoangel23xo8: :-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D xoangel23xo8: :-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-) xoangel23xo8: FEEL BETTER BUDDY! xoangel23xo8: LUV YA.. ! xoangel23xo8: BIG HUG!!!! ************************************************ Loleepop02: I LOVE YOU MOMO FEEL BETTER!!! Loleepop02: {{{{momo}}}} Loleepop02: cheer up momo :-D ********************************************** OhhhhGrrrl: you ok momo? OhhhhGrrrl: mo you doin alright? OhhhhGrrrl: look i know i've been really shitty about keeping in touch OhhhhGrrrl: but i'm still here OhhhhGrrrl: and i still care OhhhhGrrrl: and i'll never forget how you were there for me during all of my jose traumas OhhhhGrrrl: so i will always be here for any of your own dilemmas OhhhhGrrrl: I LOVE YOU MO MO!:-D ********************************************** super raD bel: fOO!!! smile flllufffffffiineeeessss!!!!!! :-D??? haha ur cool homey!!!! ********************************************* FallenAngel5173: momo FallenAngel5173: im here for u i will always me FallenAngel5173: be FallenAngel5173: HUG FallenAngel5173: call me ok 310-259-**** ******************************************** christineiscool3: *BIG FAT IMMAC HUG* :-D ******************************************** saltysampaloc15: hey sister saltysampaloc15: i miss you saltysampaloc15: call when your free kay? ******************************************* ShaCutie69: i like that song!! ShaCutie69: aww was wrong boo??! ShaCutie69: i love u guurl ... DONT LET "the maann" KEEP U DOWN ... LOL ShaCutie69: :-D:-):-D;-):-D:-):-D8-):-D8-) ..... >:o U better be smiling now!!!>:o .. cuz if not :-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D ... NOW U R!!!!!!!! .... love peace an huurr grease ... ttyl hun ... byeee!!!!!! ****************************************** VoLLiBaLLeR17: i love mo mo.... VoLLiBaLLeR17: have a hug!!! ::HUG:: VoLLiBaLLeR17: I love mo mo b/c she is super cool and nice and the bestest person in the world VoLLiBaLLeR17: love you dude and feel better... ***************************************** Monkeybuttmads: only a matter of weeks homeslice **************************************** ThisIsGladys: *immac hug* song of the day eminem rock bottom Ah yeah, yo! This song is dedicated to all the happy people All the happy people who have real nice lives And who have no idea whats it like to be broke as fuck [Verse One:] I feel like I'm walking a tight rope, without a circus net I'm popping perkasets, I'm a nervous wreck I deserve respect; but I work a sweat for this worthless check Bout to burst this tech, at somebody to reverse this debt Minimum wage got my adrenaline caged Full of venom and rage Especially when I'm engaged And my daughter's down to her last diaper That's got my ass hyper I pray that god answers, maybe I'll ask nicer Watching ballers while they flossing in their pathfinders These overnight stars becoming autograph signers We'll all gone blow up and leave the past behind us Along with the small fry's and average half pinters While playa haters turn bitch like they have vaginas Cause we see them dollar signs and let the cash blind us Money will brainwash you and leave your ass mindless Snakes slither in the grass spineless That's Rock Bottom When this life makes you mad enough to kill That's Rock Bottom When you want something bad enough you'll steal That's Rock Bottom When you feel you have had it up to here Cause you mad enough to scream but you sad enough to tear That's Rock Bottom When this life makes you mad enough to kill That's Rock Bottom When you want something bad enough you'll steal That's Rock Bottom When you feel you have had it up to here Cause you mad enough to scream but you sad enough to tear [Verse Two:] My life is full of empty promises And broken dreams I'm hoping things will look up But there ain't no job openings I feel discouraged hungry and malnourished Living in this house with no furnace, unfurnished And I'm sick of working dead end jobs with lame pay And I'm tired of being hired and fired the same day But fuck it, if you know the rules to the game play Cause when we die we know were all going the same way It's cool to be player, but it sucks to be the fan When all you need is bucks to be the man Plus a luxury sedan Too comfortable and roomy in a six They threw me in the mix With all these gloomy lunatics Walk around depressed And smoke a pound of ses a day And yesterday went by so quick it seems like it was just today My daughter wants to throw the ball but I'm too stressed to play Live half my life and throw the rest away That's Rock Bottom When this life makes you mad enough to kill That's Rock Bottom When you want something bad enough you'll steal That's Rock Bottom When you feel you have had it up to here Cause you mad enough to scream but you sad enough to tear There's people that love me and people that hate me But it's the evil that made me this backstabbing, deceitful, and shady I want the money, the women, the fortune, and the fame That Means I'll end up burning in hell scorching in flames That means I'm stealing your checkbook and forging your name Lifetime bliss for eternal torture and pain Right now I feel like just hit the rock bottom I got problems now everybody on my blocks got 'em I'm screaming like those two cops when 2pac shot 'em Holding two glocks, I hope your doors got new locks on 'em My daughter's feet ain't got no shoes or sock's on 'em And them rings you wearing look like they got a few rocks on 'em And while you flaunting them I could be taking them to shops to pawn them I got a couple of rings and a brand new watch you want 'em? Cause I never went gold of one song I'm running up on someone's lawns with guns drawn That's Rock Bottom When this life makes you mad enough to kill That's Rock Bottom When you want something bad enough you'll steal That's Rock Bottom When you feel you have had it up to here Cause you mad enough to scream but you sad enough to tear . y my english teacher is the coolest person EVER so yea... going thru a rough spell u could say... trying to keep up on school but goddamn is that hard... i have even been considering just dropping out for the remainder of the quarter.... recuperating and going back in the fall... but yea... so i have this big ass english paper due today... in less than an hour in fact... and yea.... haven't even started it... just haven't... not entirely slacker... just a lotta sh*t goin on.... so ANYWAYS.... i desperately needed an extension so this morning i went to her office hours.. she wasn't there... AHHH! so then i kept calling her office ALL MORNING... she wasn't there... so i finally left a message saying that i needed an extension ... she called me back like 10 minutes ago and said that i could have an extension!! Y-E-S!! but not only that... she didn't even ask WHY!! OR give me a date to turn it in by... which is WAAAAY A-W-E-S-O-M-E!! so i'm totally relieved ... ok... end story i 
I'm Chandler Bing from Friends! Take the Friends Quiz here. created by  stomps.
. chella0202: happy birthday soon uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: aww uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: thanks chella0202: 19- you're old! uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: seriously uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: need a cane or something chella0202: some dentures uHHoHH iTz sLoMo: a fake hip chella0202: haha when i shoulda been doing my homework Holly: GODDAMMIT!! Kristin: HOLLY!!! if you're GOING to say goddammit... say goddammit MOTHER FUCKER!! u have to direct it at someone!! Holly: GODDAMMIT MOTHER FUCKER! Kristin: thank you! . song of the day Box Car Racer I Feel So Sometimes I wish I was brave I wish I was stronger I wish I could feel no pain I wish I was young I wish I was shy I wish I was honest I wish I was you not I 'Cause I feel so mad I feel so angry I feel so callused So lost, confused, again I feel so cheap So used, unfaithful Let's start over Let's start over Sometimes I wish I was smart I wish I made cures for How people are I wish I had power I wish I could lead I wish I could change the world For you and me 'Cause I feel so mad I feel so angry I feel so callused So lost, confused, again I feel so cheap So used, unfaithful Let's start over Let's start over 'Cause I feel so mad I feel so angry I feel so callused So lost, confused, again I feel so cheap So used, unfaithful Let's start over Let's start over I feel so mad I feel so angry I feel so callused So lost, confused, again I feel so cheap So used, unfaithful Let's start over Let's start over . ok... so here i am at home... wahoo? i dunno anymore... it happened again... i always get my hopes up and then u bring them crashing back down... i dont kno y i believed this time would be different... it seemed different there for a while... nice... almost normal... regular even... like this was how its supposed to be... but no... its not... u remind me yet again how far we have to go.... honestly i'm getting tired of trying.... in other news... i think im going crazy... well... crazier... like really crazy... like omg... lets commit this kid before she hurts someone... ok... maybe not that crazy.... but damn close.... get a grip mofo... GET A FUCKIN GRIP!!! . note to self: get facts straight... THEN figure out if i need to get pissed happy birthday to the kewlest prom date eva! aka RODRIGUEZ!!! i love u buddy!!! . song of the day Limp Bizkit - Break Stuff Its just one of those days When you don't wanna wake up Everything is fucked Everybody sux You don't really know why But want justify Rippin' someone's head off No human contact And if you interact Your life is on contract Your best bet is to stay away motherfucker It's just one of those days!! [chorus] Its all about the he says she says bullshit I think you better quit Lettin' shit slip Or you'll be leavin with a fat lip Its all about the he says she says bullshit I think you better quit talkin that shit (Punk, so come and get it) Its just one of those days Feelin' like a freight train First one to complain Leaves with a blood stain Damn right I'm a maniac You better watch your back Cuz I'm fuckin' up your program And if your stuck up You just lucked up Next in line to get fucked up Your best bet is to stay away motherfucker Its just one of those days!! [chorus] I feel like shit My suggestion is to keep your distance cuz right now im dangerous We've all felt like shit And been treated like shit All those motherfuckers that want to step up I hope you know I pack a chain saw I'll skin your ass raw And if my day keeps goin' this way I just might break somethin' tonight... I hope you know I pack a chain saw I'll skin your ass raw And if my day keeps goin' this way I just might break somethin' tonight... I hope you know I pack a chain saw I'll skin your ass raw And if my day keeps goin' this way I just might break your fuckin' face tonight!! Give me somethin' to break How bout your fuckin' face I hope you know I pack a chain saw, what!!... [Eminem] Whatever.. Dre, just let it run Aiyyo turn the beat up a little bit Aiyyo.. this song is for anyone.. fuck it Just shut up and listen, aiyyo.. I sit back with this pack of Zig Zags and this bag of this weed it gives me the shit needed to be the most meanest MC on this -- on this Earth And since birth I've been cursed with this curse to just curse And just blurt this berserk and bizarre shit that works And it sells and it helps in itself to relieve all this tension dispensin these sentences Gettin this stress that's been eatin me recently off of this chest and I rest again peacefully (peacefully).. but at least have the decency in you to leave me alone, when you freaks see me out in the streets when I'm eatin or feedin my daughter to not come and speak to me (speak to me).. I don't know you and no, I don't owe you a mo-therfuck-in thing I'm not Mr. N'Sync, I'm not what your friends think I'm not Mr. Friendly, I can be a prick if you tempt me my tank is on empty (is on empty).. No patience is in me and if you offend me I'm liftin you 10 feet (liftin you 10 feet).. in the air I don't care who is there and who saw me destroy you Go call you a lawyer, file you a lawsuit I'll smile in the courtroom and buy you a wardrobe I'm tired of all you (of all you).. I don't mean to be mean but that's all I can be is just me [Chorus: Eminem] And I am, whatever you say I am If I wasn't, then why would I say I am? In the paper, the news everyday I am Radio won't even play my jam Cause I am, whatever you say I am If I wasn't, then why would I say I am? In the paper, the news everyday I am I don't know it's just the way I am [Eminem] Sometimes I just feel like my father, I hate to be bothered with all of this nonsense it's constant And, "Oh, it's his lyrical content - - the song 'Guilty Conscience' has gotten such rotten responses" And all of this controversy circles me and it seems like the media immediately points a finger at me (finger at me).. So I point one back at 'em, but not the index or pinkie or the ring or the thumb, it's the one you put up when you don't give a fuck, when you won't just put up with the bullshit they pull, cause they full of shit too When a dude's gettin bullied and shoots up his school and they blame it on Marilyn (on Marilyn).. and the heroin Where were the parents at? And look where it's at Middle America, now it's a tragedy Now it's so sad to see, an upper class ci-ty havin this happenin (this happenin).. then attack Eminem cause I rap this way (rap this way).. But I'm glad cause they feed me the fuel that I need for the fire to burn and it's burnin and I have returned [Chorus] And I am, whatever you say I am If I wasn't, then why would I say I am? In the paper, the news everyday I am Radio won't even play my jam Cause I am, whatever you say I am If I wasn't, then why would I say I am? In the paper, the news everyday I am I don't know it's just the way I am [Eminem] I'm so sick and tired of bein admired that I wish that I would just die or get fired and dropped from my label and stop with the fables I'm not gonna be able to top on "My Name is.." And pigeon-holed into some pop-py sensation to cop me rotation at rock'n'roll stations And I just do not got the patience (got the patience).. to deal with these cocky caucasians who think I'm some wigger who just tries to be black cause I talk with an accent, and grab on my balls, so they always keep askin the same fuckin questions (fuckin questions).. What school did I go to, what hood I grew up in The why, the who what when, the where, and the how 'til I'm grabbin my hair and I'm tearin it out cause they drivin me crazy (drivin me crazy).. I can't take it I'm racin, I'm pacin, I stand and I sit And I'm thankful for ev-ery fan that I get But I can't take a SHIT, in the bathroom without someone standin by it No I won't sign your autograph You can call me an asshole I'm glad And I am, whatever you say I am If I wasn't, then why would I say I am? In the paper, the news everyday I am Radio won't even play my jam Cause I am, whatever you say I am If I wasn't, then why would I say I am? In the paper, the news everyday I am I don't know it's just the way I am fuck it i hate this fuck u wut makes a true friend? fuck everything i hate this fuck it . things i'm trying to make my dense brain believe one event does NOT define me "everything happens for a reason" blame is a WASTE of time self-hate is a BIGGER waste of time "this too shall pass" gotta look for the flower!! good email i got A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life, how things were so hard for her. She didn't know how she was going to make it, and she wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one of her problems was solved, a new one popped up. Her mother took her into her kitchen, where she filled three pots with water. In the first pot, she placed some carrots, in the second one, she placed some eggs, and in the third pot, she placed some ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word, then in about twenty minutes, she turned off the burners. She fished out the carrots and placed them into a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them into another bowl, then she ladled the coffee into yet another bowl. Turning to her complaining daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," her daughter replied. She brought her daughter closer, and asked her to feel the carrots. She did, and noticed that they were now soft. She told her daughter to break an egg, which she did, and after removing the shell, she saw that the egg was now hard-boiled. Finally, she told her daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted the rich flavor, then asked, "What's the point, mother?" Her mother explained that each of the three objects had faced the very same adversity, -- boiling water, -- but each had reacted differently: The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened, and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its insides became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water! "Now, which are you?" she asked her daughter, "when adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?" Think of it like this.......Which am I? Am I a carrot that appears to be strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt, and become soft and lose my strength? Am I an egg, that starts out with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship, or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter, and tough, with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually CHANGES THE WATER!! The very circumstance that brings the pain!! When the water gets hot, it releases its fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better...... and change the situation around you! When the hours are the darkest, and trials are their greatest, do you elevate to the next level? How do you handle adversity? ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG, OR A COFFEE BEAN? song of the day Beatles - A Little Help From My Friends A little help from my friends What would you think if I sang out of tune, Would you stand up and walk out on me. Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song, And I'll try not to sing out of key. I get by with a little help from my friends, I get high with a little help from my friends, Going to try with a little help from my friends. What do I do when my love is away. (Does it worry you to be alone) How do I feel by the end of the day (Are you sad because you're on your own) No I get by with a little help from my friends, I get by with a little help from my friends, I get high with a little help from my friends, Going to try with a little help from my friends. Do you need anybody, I need somebody to love. Could it be anybody I want somebody to love. Would you believe in a love at first sight, Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time. What do you see when you turn out the light, I can't tell you, but I know it's mine. I get by with a little help from my friends, I get high with a little help from my friends, Going to try with a little help from my friends. Oh I get by with a little help from my friends, Do you need anybody, I just need somebody to love, Could it be anybody, I want somebody to love. I get by with a little help from my friends, I get high with a little help from my friends, Going to try with a little help from my friends. I get by with a little help from my friends, Yes I get by with a little help from my friends, With a little help from my friends. . rant this has been quite possibly one of the hardest and longest weeks of my life... i am so hurt and confused... i just feel so lost and above all... alone ... not the type of alone where im in solitary confinement.. or around ppl i dont like... the type of alone when u go thru an experience which no one around u has... and therefore they can't really help u... they have tried... they are so way awesome and have been so supportive and awesome... i am so blessed... but at the end of the day... i am alone... alone with the memory of the incident... alone with my pain and confusion... alone in my suffering... it seems like everyone else has gotten back to normal and while i can fake normalcy.... i am not ok i think about the incident all the time... u say... "dont think about it..." how can i not think about it? how can i not spend hours in anguish? how can i just "let it go"? how can i just smile and act like nothing happened... u say... "its not your fault..." how can it not at least be partly my fault? i was in a situation with which i had no experience.... i was alone in a situation i couldn't handle... i feel like its at least partly my fault.. and despite your efforts to convince me its not... the more u say... the more convinced i become that it is my fault... u say... "smile... let it go" smile?! LET IT GO?!?! i'm sorry... i can't just "let it go"... i can't be fine right now... I AM NOT FUCKING FINE... I AM NOT FUCKING OK... im so ANGRY and UPSET right now... but i hate to upset those around me... so i just bottle it up... which i kno isn't the answer... but i do it anyways... it seems like everyone else is completely ok... which is understandable cuz they didn't go thru the incident... but i feel like i'm expected to be normal too... and i can't be... i'm trying here ok?? im fucking trying so hard and i just can't do it... its like no matter wut i do... its the WRONG thing.... don't talk about it... i upset ppl cuz i bottle sh*t up... talk about it... upset ppl with wut i say.... take long walks... upset ppl.... stay here... upset ppl... i can't handle this... i can't fucking handle this... i dont kno how to handle this ok?? i dont kno wut i should be doing here... i dont kno how im supposed to be acting... i dont kno wut i should be saying or feeling or thinking.... all i kno is wuts going thru me right now is purely negative and vile... i really hate myself right now... really and truly i do... i feel so pathetically weak and unable to handle anything... i am flipping out here so bad... i am completely oversensitive to everything... the slightest, most insignificant things make me feel like crying.... anything from waking up in the middle of the nite... to not buckling a seat belt... how fucking pathetic is that shit??? how pathetic is that? there aren't even enough words to describe it... all i want to do... is get a 3.5... summer to come... and get the FUCK out of cal poly... i dont kno who i was kidding.... this place is not for me at all... i dont kno wut i was trying to prove but if anything i was proved wrong... i can't handle this place and i need out... this is a bad place for me... i need out... end rant thanks to those who are trying your best to help me out... i kno ima mess... just give me time... thank u honestly for even being willing to put up with me... u dont kno wut it means to me... song of the day Maroon 5 - Harder to Breathe How dare you say that my behavior is unacceptable So condescending unnecessarily critical I have the tendency of getting very physical So watch your step cause if I do you'll need a miracle You drain me dry and make me wonder why I'm even here This Double Vision I was seeing is finally clear You want to stay but you know very well I want you gone Not fit to funkin' tread the ground I'm walking on When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love You'll understand what I mean when I say There's no way we're gonna give up And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe What you are doing is screwing things up inside my head You should know better you never listened to a word I said Clutching your pillow and writhing in a naked sweat Hoping somebody someday will do you like I did When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love You'll understand what I mean when I say There's no way we're gonna give up And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe Does it kill Does it burn Is it painful to learn That it's me that has all the control Does it thrill Does it sting When you feel what I bring And you wish that you had me to hold . so its now half a week after "the incident"... god... i just DON'T understand... im at a loss for words and thoughts... i just feel so ... so... HURT... so confused... i just feel like crying ALL the time... im just going to put lyrics that explain wut im feeling... cuz they say it way better than i can.. Everyday I think about what you did Livin' life ain't much with all the shit Cause I'm going insane with all of it You keep driving me crazy Always crazy, you're gonna drive me crazy Adema - Blow It Away I need a little room to breathe Cause I'm one step closer to the edge And I'm about to break I find the answers aren't so clear Wish I could find a way to disappear All these thoughts they make no sense Linkin Park - One Step Closer Why am I even trying? I'm crying out, I'm crying out I cannot seem to keep from freaking out Spinning round, spinning round, I've fallen down I cannot seem to keep from freaking out I'm trippin' out, I'm trippin' out I cannot seem to keep from freaking out Draw me down, breaking down I've hit the ground I cannot seem to keep from freaking out Adema - Freaking Out I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real I wanna let go of the pain I’ve felt so long (Erase all the pain till it’s gone) I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along Somewhere I belong Linkin Park - Somewhere I Belong Today I made the worst mistake I put my trust into someone I don't know And now I know because you've done everything possible to me Made me so upset I was betrayed, how can you say that you feel sorry inside Adema - Close Friends I wanna run away Never say goodbye I wanna know the truth Instead of wondering why I wanna know the answers No more lies Linkin Park - Runaway This pain inside I can't understand This hate in life that will not go away (Go away) This pain inside I can not live with it It feels like no one really understands Adema - Pain Inside I make the right moves but I’m lost within I put on my daily façade but then I just end up getting hurt again Linkin Park - By Myself . last nite was horrible... nuff said thanks to: KEITH - aww... thanks keith... ur hug meant so much to me last nite... ur such an awesome guy... i'm beyond blessed to have u as a son... thanks buddy!! shout outs to : MARI! and SYLVANA for listening to me vent last nite... u guys are easily two of the most amazing blessings i have ever received... i dunno wut i did to deserve u guys... maybe i was a saint in my last life? i guess so.. i found these lyrics... i found them rather appropriate... gotta keep looking at the silver lining right? Some days wouldn't be special, if it wasn't for rain Joy wouldn't feel so good, if it wasn't for pain Death gotta be easy, 'cause life is hard - 50 Cent "Many Men (Wish Death)" . quote of the day FRIENDS ARE ANGELS WHO LIFT US TO OUR FEET WHEN OUR WINGS HAVE TROUBLE REMEMBERING HOW TO FLY ok... i'm not usually a fan of avril lavigne... but i found this next song to be pretty cool... so i have made it my song of the day... song of the day Avril Lavigne "Anything But Ordinary" Sometimes I get so weird I even freak myself out I laugh myself to sleep It's my lullaby Sometimes I drive so fast Just to feel the danger I wanna scream It makes me feel alive Is it enough to love? Is it enough to breathe? Somebody rip my heart out And leave me here to bleed Is it enough to die? Somebody save my life I'd rather be anything but ordinary please To walk within the lines Would make my life so boring I want to know that I Have been to the extreme So knock me off my feet Come on now give it to me Anything to make me feel alive Is it enough to love? Is it enough to breathe? Somebody rip my heart out And leave me here to bleed Is it enough to die? Somebody save my life I'd rather be anything but ordinary please I'd rather be anything but ordinary please. Let down your defences Use no common sense If you look you will see that this world is a beautiful accident turbulent suculent opulent permanent, no way I wanna taste it Don't wanna waste it away Sometimes I get so weird I even freak myself out I laugh my self to sleep It's my lullaby Is it enough? Is it enough? Is it enough to breathe? Somebody rip my heart out And leave me here to bleed Is it enough to die? Somebody save my life I'd rather be anything but ordinary please Is it enough? Is it enough to die? Somebody save my life I'd rather be anything but ordinary please I'd rather be anything but ordinary please. . ok... haven't done a song of the day in a very very long time... i heard this song over spring break... and me gusta mucho!! so here it goes... song of the day Evanescence feat. Paul McCoy "Bring Me To Life" how can you see into my eyes like open doors leading you down into my core where i've become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold until you find it there and lead it back home wake me up inside wake me up inside call my name and save me from the dark bid my blood to run before i come undone save me from the nothing i've become now that i know what i'm without you can't just leave me breathe into me and make me real bring me to life wake me up inside wake me up inside call my name and save me from the dark bid my blood to run before i come undone save me from the nothing i've become bring me to life frozen inside without your touch without your love darling only you are the life among the dead all this time i can't believe i couldn't see kept in the dark but you were there in front of me i've been sleeping a thousand years it seems got to open my eyes to everything without a thought without a voice without a soul don't let me die here there must be something more bring me to life . |
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